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I have already written that Online Communities are Real Communities of Real People. I also believe that the love we develop for people in our second life is as true as the love we feel for the people in our first.

“Nearly 40% of men and 53% of women who play online games said their virtual friends were equal to or better than their real-life friends, according to a survey of 30,000 gamers conducted by Nick Yee, a recent Ph.D. graduate from Stanford University. More than a quarter of gamers said the emotional highlight of the past week occurred in a computer world, according to the survey, which was published in 2006 by Massachusetts Institute of Technology Press’s journal Presence.” Via the Wall Street Journal

To be honest, we’re all searching for birds of a feather and it is surely easier to find people “like me” online in a pool of tens-of-millions rather than your town. We also want love, respect, appreciation, and adoration instead of simply acting out of obligation. We’re sick and tired of living shotgun lives. If a life offers real love and real respect, can it really be only virtual?

Some folks are living and acting out of loyalty and to meet family expectations and obligations. This does not extinguish the passion inside.

The Internet, however, allows everyone to call out “olly olly oxen free” and find the people who truly share things in common. Not “job,” or “kids in the same school,” or “neighborhood,” but deep things that often are directly in conflict with the life that life has given you.

Virtual communities, social networks, virtual realities — second lives — are quickly evolving into the primary focus. I respect that. I understand that. I have lived that. The deepest relationships I had in the 90s were with my friends on The Meta Network. They helped me through relationships, through the death of my dad, through more relationships, through emotional, ethical, and work choices.

They got me, they loved me, and they respected me. I also had real loves and real lovemaking, but the connections I had with “virtual” mentors and “virtual” brothers was real. Not just real but real intense.

Well, to bring this home, one really must respect these spaces, these places, when reaching out, doing outreach, or engaging. Just because these experiences happen online, in a virtual world, doesn’t mean that there isn’t intense loyalty, connection, love, dedication, attachment, and obligation online; the biggest difference online is that everyone involved chose to be there.

It is essential that when you are marketing online that you respect these relationships. It is not a game, even on the most chaotic message board or gamer forum. People really do have each other’s back and if you are short, spammy, or disrespectful, you can just turn tail and get out of there.

Respect the elders, respect the relationships, and even if you’re on World of Warcraft, there is a lot of true love and friendship going on in that Guild, I can tell you that!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Yeah, you can ignore me now, because I know you will anyway, but consider yourself forewarned.

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2 Responses to “Virtual Relationships, True Love”

  1. How could I possibly ignore you? :o)

    You hit the nail right on the head my friend. Just because you aren’t my next door neighbor doesn’t mean that I can’t form a close connection and relationship with you.

    It’s been interesting this week for me to actually meet a few online/Twitter friends face-to-face. Both people were exactly the same face-to-face as my perception about them from online communications. It was easy to slip into a conversation with someone you’ve been reading about for the past several months. You know what has been going on in their lives in 140 characters or less.

    It’s amazing me all the Tweet Ups that are happening that are pulling the community even closer together. Unless one is in the middle of this virtual connection it’s hard to really “get it”. People look at me like I have two heads when I try to explain things like Twitter and blogs.

    Don’t understand? I really don’t care, it works for me and that’s what matters most.

  2. Good piece. I can’t even count the number of times someone has discussed something in Second Life that was disruptive and they always concluded with, “yeah, just like in real life.”

    It’s easy for us to be blinded or at least very distracted by the filters. Yes, there is a real person on the other end of the Net connection.

    I think this whole area of Netiquette 2.0 or behaving responsibly in a virtual space have worlds to grow. IIt’ll be interesting seeing them built and helping to build tehm.

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